Wow these past 2 weeks have gone by so quickly that I really haven't had time for anything else but school, work and sleep. It's been a couple of those weeks where life just grabs you and runs away with you. Definitely glad it's all over. I feel like I can start to be normal again and regain my sanity ;) On Friday morning we were up nice and early to go to Sweden. Since we got here it's been go-go-go but in the good kind of way!
So today will be a bit of a catch-up and a bit all over the place, I have no plans for where this post is going so bare with me :) I have started and rewritten this post about 5 times so hopefully I can finally finish it today!
After 6 months, things are finally moving along with figuring out what the heck has been wrong with me! I went to the doctors 2 weeks and he told me that he's "95% sure" that I has found out what I may have. I'm going for few specialist appointments but once I know for sure, I will most likely write several blog posts because it's something I feel other women could benefit from! Considering I got told this a couple days before my exam, my brain has just been hurting from all the thoughts swirling around up there. Whilst I've been wrapping my head around it all, I've read LOADS of blog posts and articles! Love this quote and it reminds me to stay strong!!
I clearly think I'm hilarious because I sent this to some of my friends on Snapchat saying that I'd cut my hair. They were all very unimpressed! It's unreal how attached everyone is to my long hair and how many times people say "you are not allowed to cut your hair, okay?!!!", I'm like "okayy then if you say so" ;)
It's still all there buttttt I am feeling like I want to change it up but then again I'm not ready to let go off having really long hair and still have it long when it's curled. My goodness, the power of make-up, photo angling and photo affects ;)
My exams overall went well. A heck of a lot harder than I expected but everyone did say that alevels are some of the hardest exams you will ever take which is no lie! I'm very lucky that all of mine were in the span of two weeks and are no out of the way! I can start having a normal life again that isn't revolved around exams and revision.
We're currently staying at family friends in Sweden. Their son and I grew up together in England before they moved back here and we moved to America. It's always so great to see them and it's funny seeing how much we've changed over the years, definitely for the better;)
Despite getting up after only 5 hours of sleep, mum and I had a really fun journey. We were both shattered and fell asleep the whole plane ride. We thankfully remembered the AUX cable for the car, you never know what another countries radio will be like. When we leave Sweden we're actually driving for 6ish hours to Norway, so music is a necessity.
These are the best sweets ever. I know they do the squishy kind in most shops in England but I can only find the hard kind at the WHSmith's in Heathrow. Quite a random place to find them but every time I fly out from there, I get a bag!
Last year when we visited, we played Monopoly almost every night so it only seemed logical to bring it out again this year. I love playing it whenever I get the chance since it's just my mum and I at home and it doesn't really work with two players.
We haven't done too many things but honestly I haven't been the crazy blogger lady taking pictures of everything I eat and do since we've been here. It's been nice to just enjoy everything and not stop to take pictures! My mum, however, has taken LOADS of pictures so once I steal a few from her (thanks, mum!!), I'll post them along with a full recap.
I'm sure once we're in Norway at my grandma's house, I'll be back to my old blogging self and you can all see what I eat at every meal, because I'm sure that is thrilling to you all;) I'm off to go get ready now and then eat some lunch. I promise I won't leave you all hanging for another 2 weeks now :)
HI!! I hope you're all well, it's been a heck of a long time since I've been able to blog and I've missed blogging regularly! This post has taken about 4 days to write and whenever I've had a few spare minutes, I've written a couple sentences. I can't wait for May 22nd!!! And to get back to my normal life!
This weekend (can I still say "this weekend" when it's almost the end of the week;) was 3 days and that extra day was much needed!! Friday night, I went out with a couple girlfriends and didn't get home till quite late... Perks of being 18 ;) Even though I still came home late at 17 so I suppose my life hasn't changed much but hey ho, there are some perks to it!
On Saturday, mum and I went to London for the day to do some shopping! It was crazy busy as it always is and surprise surprise I ended up finding nothing. It's always when you go shopping farther away from home that you don't find anything. It was still a fab day in my favourite city though!!
I have no idea what is going on with my hands lately but they're ALWAYS freezing cold, like frozen and that's no exaggeration! My friend was like why are you always walking around with your sleeves down, urm because my fingers feel like they're going to fall off!! On another random note, this chocolate is so good!! Love salty and sweet together!
Sunday was definitely not a fun day;) I woke up, did what I needed to do around the house and had a pretty good lunch. Ciabatta with cream cheese and salmon, pretty simple but so delicious! So I bought this new nut butter that has cashews, hazelnuts and peanuts- it is friggin good, go buy it now!!
Guess what happened to me right before I was going out?! I knocked my plate off the table and my favourite ravioli spilt on my brand new jeans! I was gutted but mum and I just burst out laughing, so the 5 second rule was more like the 3 minute rule ;)
I found out late Sunday afternoon that my friend's band was having a gig at a local pub so I decided to head down for a few hours and a couple drinks. Well a few hours and a couple drinks turned into a lot longer and we all ended up going back to my friend's house. I finally got home at 2 am and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.
I had a little accident after the gig, I was wearing pretty high heels and didn't see the ditch in the pavement and fell big time. I just laughed it off at the time but woke up the next morning, with lots of bruises and a pretty big cut! Whoopsie daisies :) At least I have a cool plaster right?, it was actually the only one I found at the bottom of the medicine drawer!
I slept in till 11 on Monday which was so fabulous, love not having to get up at 6:45am! I did a couple hours of revision and started getting the biggest craving for chunky chips, I couldn't shake it so I had to convince mum to let us get some for dinner if I did some more revision. Food is my key motivator, I'm pretty sure all teens are like that!
Gosh they were heavenly! I remembered that I had some dip from Domino's and thought I'd try it with some chips and it was definitely a good decision! Now I'm craving some of those again!
Monday night we went to the cinema to see The Duff, I loved it! It was a pretty cheesy, predictable movie but I still loved it! It had your typical American high school stereotypes and we already knew how it was going to end within 10 minutes!
Work is going well, I don't enjoy it but let's be honest what's to enjoy about sweeping and mopping a canteen full of slimy food everywhere. Definitely not what I'd prefer to be doing with my time!
It already feels like it's been a long week but it's only been two days, how sad! I'm absolutely shattered and I've hurt my back again, I swear this body of mine really does hate me aha! I'm hoping to pop in with a post on Sunday before my first two exams on Monday & Tuesday but we'll see how it goes! I hope you all have a great rest of the week :)
Dear the old you,
I miss you. I miss the you that you were before the world told you who you should be. Whoever "you" maybe be, there will be many forms of you. Old, new and present. Each taking on a life of its own, each being captivated by all the glitz that society shows.
I miss the simplicity that life was. I miss putting on something and feeling good. I miss smiling and not worrying about the crooked teeth. I miss laughing and not having someone tell me I'm being too loud. I miss making a decision and not worrying what others would think. I miss being friends with guys just because they were drama free and not having someone say you're getting together. I miss getting something wrong and not being deemed stupid for trying again. I miss wearing only lipgloss on a special occasion and not ruining my face with boatloads of make-up every day. I miss living in the moment and not feeling like I have to document every part of my life to fit in. I miss sharing something because I want to and not worrying about getting 100 likes. I miss the way everything was easier before the world told me how I should be.
That's the thing about society, it devalues you. When we're young, the things we see in society are so amazing and cool, that we grow up too quickly. We become fascinated by this society and we can't wait to jump in. We miss out on just being kids. Hanging at the park, rollerblading up and down the street you live on, having ice-cream for dinner, watching cartoons all day, going to school without any worries, being free and oblivious to all the cruelness in the world. Society makes everything look glamorous, it pulls the vulnerable in and spits them out a different person.
You used to be carefree, adventurous, energetic and courageous before society turned you into a worrier which zapped your energy and sense of adventure. Your courage disappeared along with your freedom. You no longer believed you could make your own choices without being judged. And you're right. Society has morphed us into a world where judging someone is normal, where laughing at someone is okay, where putting someone down is acceptable, where going against each other is the only way to survive.
Society, when did you become the new you? The you that demoralises everyone's values, the you that makes girls feel like they need to look like a Victoria Secret model to feel worth anything, the you that made boys feel like they have to be funny in a mean way to fit in with the "cool guys", the you that made stereotyping a part of meeting people, the you that made it okay for girls and boys to treat each other with utter disrespect, the you that made people ashamed to stand up for what they believe, the you that pushed kids to the corner of the room and made them never want to speak their mind again, the you that determined love has to be a certain way, the you that has made everyone believe beauty is only skin deep. Society, when did you become so cruel? When did you turn the human race into a competition of who is prettier, fitter, smarter, funnier, or richer?
In many ways the old society never knew what it would turn into. The old society never knew that media and technology would turn it into a competition of who wore it best, a competition of being popular and a competition of being better than the friend sitting next to you. The old society never knew its potential to become a destructive place. The old society never knew it would set unattainable ideals for people to live up to. The old society never knew it would hurt so many.
The old you was so oblivious to how society would change you. The old you never realised how cruel the world and the people that occupy it can be. The old you that had so much hope and aspirations for how your life would become. Not knowing that your innocence would be stripped away once you were thrown into the mix of society. Not knowing how amazing you truly were before society expected you to change.
You. You have the power to one-up society and shove all its unfair expectations out the window. You. The present, old and new you have the power. The power to be different. The power to be unchanged by the world we live in. You. You decide who you want want to be. Society doesn't dictate how your life should be. You do.
You are society. A small part of it but the change starts with you. We make up society and we're changing it for the worse. Pressurising everyone to be a certain way and fit a certain ideal. I blame society because it is society's fault, it's society that is screwing us up. But we are society, we are setting the standards, we are screwing us up. We need to change how we see ourselves to change how we treat others. Society is the only place we have to live in. Why don't we make it somewhere that we're happy to live?
So you can see why I miss the old you and all the things society took from the old you. But I look forward to meeting the new you. The you that doesn't have to abide by these "norms" society has us following. The you that doesn't need to stay suffocated in a society where you can't be who you want to be. The you that doesn't judge, criticise or hate anyone for being a certain way, believing a certain way or acting a certain way. But most importantly I look forward to meeting the you that can live your life courageously, freely and beautifully untouched by this society we live in.
Love, the new you
P.S. I wrote this at 1 in the morning during a sleepless night. The "you" is whoever you want it to be, whichever you it applies to :)
Hi guys, happy Friday!! This week has been a rough one and yes you can expect that for the next 5 weeks! Exam time is no joke and everything is going at the speed of light! I've just about recovered from my jetlag and weekend event!
I thought I'd do a things I'm loving Friday today since its been a while! I honestly have completely lost count of what number and I'm pretty sure I missed counted from the beginning, yes I suck at maths, always have always will!
Not a thing I'm loving but so not okay of Diet Coke to change the colour of the cap. I looked like a right idiot in the shop staring at them all for 10 minutes looking for the white cap. I'm telling you exam revision has fried my brain, it better start working again before May 11th!!
I've never had chia tea and I know it was the big thing a few years ago but I just wasn't really into tea then. I saw this at tescos the other day and it was a little pricey but on sale and it smelt delicious so thought I'd give it a try! It's so good, definitely not super vanillay but more gingerbread, Christmassy!
I don't even want to admit to how many bags of these I ate over my holiday in America, they're so damn good!! I bought some at the airport and completely forgot about them till last night!! Go buy some now!
OMG it's official and I cannot wait till next year!! Anne-Claire and I already have plans for a sleepover to watch all the episodes. This will be like reliving my pre-teen years, I'm most likely way too excited for this but I have a feeling it's going to be pretty amazing :)
OBSESSED with this song, like seriously. Since I got it, I've not stopped listening to it! I'm sure I'll get sick of it at some point but I'll keep it on repeat until then!
Bright colours and curly hair. Ok, I'm always loving my curls but I'm seriously happy about the super sunny weather because I've brought out all the summery clothes. I wear bright clothes a lot because I've got a bright personality so I'm pretty happy I get to start wearing all my colourful dresses. Right I'll stop blabbering on about bright clothes.
I haven't got a super exciting weekend planned but may do something with my friend, Mae tomorrow night. Mostly likely the last weekend I can properly let loose before all the mayhem starts. I start my job on Monday so I'll probably only post one blog post during the week. I've gotten one ready and I put a lot of time into it. I hope it's something you enjoy reading, I haven't done a post like that one in a while and I hope you love it as much as my mum & Anne-Claire did!
I'm off to go watch Annie with my mum. I watched it with my dad a couple weeks ago and loved it, I love all musical movies so this was totally up my street. I'm pretty sure my mum will love it too! Hope you all have a fab weekend :)
The one thing I always thought of about San Francisco was Alcatraz and it was the one thing I was looking most forward to. So you can imagine my reaction when my dad told me there was no available tickets. I was not a happy bunny. My dad and step-mum had just been on a work trip to San Fran a couple months earlier and visited and they didn't book.
We spoke to someone and they said the only way we might be able to get tickets was if we came and stood in line at 6:15 am (yes, you read that right, trust me I was not exactly thrilled at having to wake up at 5:15am). So my dad, Laura and I headed to the Alcatraz Landing Pier and waited in line for almost 2 hours. Thank god we got three tickets.
My grandma, dad and I headed on the boat at around 10:10. My grandma is slightly disabled and she joked that the only good thing that comes from it is, is skipping lines and parking close by. We were the first on and off the boat, which was brilliant. Big crowds and lines stress me out big time.
I think that morning I saw some of the best views I had seen in my life. First on the boat and then actually on the island. The boat ride was super short and I got more and more excited the closer we got.
Just above is a slideshow of some pictures in Alcatraz. I didn't want to overwhelm you with 50 pictures but also thought some of you might be in to this type of thing. I was totally into this tour and loved every part of it. You get headphones and it guides you around the whole prison, telling stories of what happened. So cool!!
The views from the Island were absolutely incredible and breathtaking. I took about 100 pictures of the view alone, I couldn't stop taking it in. But we had to go back in since the tour was going to start again. Alcatraz certainly lived up to my expectations and I would recommend it to everyone!
The cable car ride was insanely fun but insanely scary. The roads in San Fran are no joke and the movies don't nearly show how crazy they are. They go up and down like crazy and being in that cable car was pretty crazy. I stood on the little steps along the side so I wasn't actually sat down, it was all pretty surreal!
It was all so fun. I have so many pictures that I may do a "photo dump" of sorts of all the little pictures of food, hotel etc that didn't make it in the recaps! I hope you all have a great rest of the week :)
Hi guys, I'm just popping in to update you all on some things and say hi! I'm still working on the Alcatraz post but I promise I'll get it up by the end of the week :)
I arrived safely at Heathrow on Saturday morning but the rest of the day was not so great. For numerous reasons we decided to take the train and then the tube to get to Heathrow, so it was about a 2 hour trip to get home. Everything went well up until the last train home.
We had boarded the train, put our suitcase in the doorway bit (not in front of the opening door but the other side) and had sat down just in front of it. My mum and I were talking for barely 5 minutes before my mum turned around and noticed my suitcase gone. After that it all happened so quickly and was honestly slightly a blur for this travel-anxious girl!!
My mum was quick on her feet and decided to run outside the station to see if she could stop the people that had taken it. Luckily in our case these two people weren't quick on their feet (we both guessed they were on some sort of drugs at the time) and my mum managed to run over and get some police!
I was in the station on the phone with my dad, having a slight panic attack! My first thought was that the suitcase was gone forever and I freaked out about all my revision stuff for my exams in 3 weeks!!!
One person was arrested and the other one ran! That person managed to steal some things, nothing majorly special but one thing was quite expensive. It was all a nightmare as it was happening and it felt surreal giving my statement to the police.
As someone who struggles with a lot of paranoia and anxiety, this was almost like having some of my worst fears happen. No one was hurt and not much was taken, which is obviously the most important thing but the way it left me has honestly been the worst part.
I obviously can't share all the little details in case this does go to court but I'll keep you all updated on how I am etc. I've washed everything that was in the suitcase, thrown the suitcase away (they completely broke it anyways) and tried to forget it as best as I can.
I've been okay, mainly shaken up and haven't managed to go through a bag that was in my suitcase because it just grosses me out. It's mainly the invasion of privacy that you feel and the shock of it. I'm sure in a couple weeks once the police have sorted it all out (they will keep calling to update me about it all) and I don't have to keep thinking about it, it'll get easier. But it has nonetheless shaken me up and made me more anxious! NEVER let any of your possessions out of sight when travelling even for a minute, I learnt my lesson the hard way even when I placed it somewhere in near sight where I had always placed it before!
On some other good news I've started driving with my mum!! My lessons were going really well and I stopped them just before half term! I'm now going to go with my mum for 2-3 months before my test. I still struggle with the anxiety once in a while but it's going really well! I'm about to go out now and I can't wait, I'm really enjoying it so far :)
Second piece of good news I got a job!!! I'm going to be cleaning at my school. The 6th form students are the cleaners at our school. I applied a while ago and it's the only job I could get because of me being away every school holiday! I start on Wednesday and it's two hours every day after school! Not the most exciting job but it's money going towards a car!
The next month or so is going to be a bit random in blog posts. My exams are in 3 weeks and then 2 weeks of actual exams, so it's going to be extremely busy. Especially with the new job and driving lessons plus trying to remain sane and keep my social life going, I'll blog whenever I have a spare minute! I've got a few scheduled at the moment and those will be coming up in the next few weeks!
I hope you're all having a fab week and didn't have quite the dramatic weekend that I did! Catch you guys later this week :)
Hi guys, I hope you all had a great week and weekend! I had scheduled my last post to publish last Monday but I clearly forgot to change the date, whoops. It went up at 10:30am just on the wrong date, I'm still getting a handle on this whole scheduling blogging posts thing.
San Francisco was incredible. Although our trip was short, I feel like we packed a ton of stuff in, in the little time we had. I'm going to recap our trip in two parts because we all know how much I like to babble and I don't want to overwhelm you with 1,000 pictures.
We left early Sunday morning and arrived around noonish SF time. After we got out the airport we drove straight to the Golden Gate Bridge. I was a little bummed at the beginning of the week when I read that it was suppose to rain the whole time we were there. But fate was on our side and the weather was gorgeous the ENTIRE time!!
On the way there we drove by the Palace of Fine Arts, which was absolutely stunning. Imagine getting married there, that must be incredible!
After I hopped out the car, took about 30 pictures of the palace, we got back on the road and headed to the Golden Gate Bridge. I was so excited, who knew a bridge could be so amazing, right?!
We took a drive up to an overlook area and the view was absolutely breathtaking. You could see the whole bay and even Alcatraz in the far distance.
I took over 1,000 pictures during our four days there. Yes, I think I actually photographed every.single.damn.thing!! I didn't want my mind to ever forget all the things we saw. I zoomed in on the bridge, snapped a couple pictures, then zoomed in on some trees and snapped a few more. I may have gone slightly overboard!
This is Oakland Bay Bridge. Yes another bridge, but equally as beautiful as the first. I am in love with this picture. The sky looks gorgeous. Don't you just want to float on those clouds? But maybe that's just my crazy imagination but I think they look so comfy.
Then we headed off to see the Full House house and the Painted Ladies. I totally geeked out over the Full House house. The first tv show I watched when I moved to America was Full House. I watched it everyday after school for an hour. So seeing this was pretty damn cool.
I think Alamo Square and the Painted Ladies were cooler than the actual house because these both still looked exactly like it did in the show whereas the house no longer looks exactly the same. As I was taking pictures the theme tune song was playing in my head over and over!
Ghirardelli Square was as sweet as I expected! (Pun intended, I just had to;). It's such a beautiful little place and even more gorgeous at night, with all the fairy lights. My granddad was in absolute heaven with his huge ice-cream (the one in the middle). My dad and I shared a cookie dough type sundae and it was delicious. I wish I had that in front of me right now, it was what dreams are made off.
Congrats if you made it through all that without wanting to exit of the page, it was longwinded. I'm going to leave you with one last picture then head off to bed and read Amy Poehler's Yes Please book, so hilarious. I'll hopefully post the second recap on Alcatraz & our Cable Car ride later this week till then have a great day :)
"Every one of the hundred thousand cities around the world has its own special sunset and it was worth going there, just once, if only to see the sun go down."
Have you ever been to San Francisco? What was your favourite thing you saw?
What's your favourite city that you've ever visited?
Any suggestions as to where I should visit in America??
I can't believe I've been 18 for almost two months. Time always flies by now. I can't believe how quickly the last 2 months have gone and I swear since my 15th birthday, they all seem to go by in a whizz. I'm sure I'll be saying the same thing on my 19th, shocked at how quickly the year has gone by.
I thought I'd do this little fun facts list since I always love reading that type of thing and also because I'm away right now in San Francisco and this was super easy to type up in a hurry :)
18) My favourite chocolate is Galaxy, which I'm sure would not impress my dad, who works for a chocolate company that makes delicious chocolate. But there's just something about it and it beats Cadburys (sorry!;)
17) When we moved to America, I became obsessed with Full House. I have seen every episode and used to watch it for an hour everyday after school. I just heard that they're making a spin-off show with DJ and Kimmy, urm how amazing is that going to be!!!
16) After I visited LA, two years ago, I had a secret wish to become an actresses. I started googling acting classes and everything. Then I came home and realised it was most likely not going to happen. Plus I realised it's probably not as cool as we may think it is to be famous. But you gotta dream big right?!
15) My dream vacation is to go to Australia. Ever since I started watching Home & Away, 9 years ago, I have been dying to go! Hopefully some day I will, it's just the flight that doesn't sound good. Or the spiders, bugs and snakes. That part scares the crap out of me.
14) I've never broken a bone. I've pulled my left hamstring twice, pulled my back and had a lot of other health issues but never broken a single bone.
13) I probably watch at least 3-4 Friends episodes a day. No, I never get sick of it, if you're wondering. Weekends are the worst, I watch it LOADS! Yes, my life is so exciting. (Lately though I haven't had time and it's been quite sad not getting my daily dose;)
12) I can never ever pick one movie to name as my favourite, it's just too hard. But my top three favourite movies are Something Borrowed, The Best Man Holiday and Baby Mamma!
11) Going along with number 12, I can watch movies over and over again. Most people I know, can't watch movies over again like I can. I can watch one on Monday and watch it again on Wednesday! I think I've seen Something Borrowed over 50 times now!
10) My favourite flowers are pink roses. They're so pretty!
9) My favourite hot chocolate mix is Cadbury's Fudge hot chocolate, only time I'll drink milk.
8) I love going to the beach but I don't like swimming in the ocean, weird I know. I just hate not being able to see in the water. I love swimming pools because I can see everything. In the ocean however, you can't see crap!
7) The only shoes I wear all summer are flip-flops (except for when I'm running or at a nice occasion).
6) My favourite breed of dog is Bernese Mountain Dog. They don't have a long life expectancy sadly but I they're the cutest! Although I think when I finally settle down and have kids I would love to have a German Shepherd, I've always thought they make perfect family dogs!
5) My favourite type of food is Mexican. Every time I'm in Chicago, we always go to a Mexican restaurant, I love it SO much! Best Mexican I ever had was at restaurant in LA.
4) I read celebrity and fitness magazines like nobodies business, it all started when we moved to America, they're at every checkout. Now, every time I'm at my dads I can't resist buying every type of fitness magazine they have.
3) My grandma's green beans are the most delicious things you will ever taste. I don't know what she cooks it in or what spices she puts on them, but they're beyond amazing. And her waffles are the best too. Basically my grandma is the best cook ever!!
2) I have the loudest laugh ever. Most people love it and most people tell me that my laugh makes them laugh. Teachers on the other hand tell me to shut up about a 100 times a day. I'm probably one of the happiest people at school you'll ever meet. I may not always be super happy on the inside, but I think a smile and some laughter is always the way to feel better!
1) I actually created this list almost 4 months before my actual birthday, I was just so excited to be turning 18 and wanted to write something fun like this.
I hope you're all having a great week and I'll be back at the end to recap you all on our time in San Francisco.
Change the world, one act of kindness at a time
A little bit of honesty
Red Velvet Brownies with peanut butter glaze
Broccoli, Cheese and Onion Tart
Changed forever- the power of helping others